Recently, I had the privilege of having a candid one-to-one conversation with one of my brightest reportees, a talented young engineer with immense potential. During our discussion about her career aspirations, she was refreshingly open. While she is comfortable and confident taking on more technical challenges within our organisation, she admitted a hesitancy about pushing further into technology if she were to move elsewhere. Her reasoning wasn’t rooted in doubts about her technical ability; in fact, she’s a skilled engineer and a capable technical project manager. But rather a profound concern: it’s not the work itself, but the daunting prospect of having to prove herself every single day in an environment still dominated by entrenched gender biases.

This conversation echoed sentiments I’ve heard repeatedly throughout my career in tech, both from women just starting out and from those with years of experience. It also struck a deeply personal chord: these obstacles persist. They’re not hypothetical, nor are they the stuff of distant history. They are the lived reality of many women in technology today.

The Gender Divide in Technology: Where Are We Now?

The gender divide in technology is both well-documented and ever-present. Although the UK has made notable strides towards equity (through diversity pledges, sponsoring STEM outreach in schools, and initiatives to close the gender pay gap) there remains a clear imbalance. Women still make up less than a fifth of the UK tech workforce, and their representation in senior technical positions is even slimmer. The advances are tangible, but so too are the daily challenges women face: unconscious bias, the sense of having to constantly justify their presence in technical environments, and workplace cultures that can feel overwhelming if not outright exclusionary.

One significant, but often unspoken, consequence of these pressures is the career decisions many women engineers make. It is not uncommon to see women, even those with strong technical backgrounds or STEM qualifications, steering towards project management, product ownership, or customer-facing roles. Sometimes, they’re encouraged down these paths because of perceived ‘soft skills’ or ‘natural empathy’.

Often, though, it’s a conscious choice born out of self-preservation. The relentless strain of continually having to prove their technical competence (to colleagues, to new teams, to leadership) can feel like a burden too heavy to carry. Some have taken the leap into core technology roles only to retreat; the stress, scrutiny and emotional toll became too much, making project management or customer-facing roles feel like safer ground, where their abilities are less likely to be questioned day in, day out.

In my own career, I’ve seen immensely gifted engineers opt for these alternative paths, not because they lacked ability, passion or ambition, but because they wanted to avoid the exhausting cycle of doubt and justification. The risk is not just individual burnout, but a systemic loss of potential talent that could be building our future technology, instead redirected to roles perceived as less fraught with bias.

Personal Reflections: Navigating Bias and Building Resilience

My journey through the tech sector has been shaped by both overt and subtle biases. I’ve been misidentified as the project manager when I was, in fact, the lead developer. I’ve had my technical decisions picked apart in meetings where similar suggestions from male colleagues passed without question. I’ve stayed behind after meetings to reassure female peers who worried their contributions would be dismissed, or who debated softening their language in emails to avoid being labelled ‘difficult’.

The truth is, the emotional impact of these daily frictions accumulates, even for the most resilient. It’s not just about one-off incidents, but about a culture (sometimes invisible, sometimes glaring) where women feel their technical credentials are under constant scrutiny. This weighs heavily on those who have already taken the leap, and often deters others from even considering it. Many women, like my reportee, begin their careers with enthusiasm, only to find that enthusiasm eroded by repeated microaggressions or a sense of isolation in male-dominated teams. Yet, where I have seen hope and renewal is in the power of community. Support networks, mentoring circles, and male allies who genuinely listen and act can build resilience and spark change.

Examples from the Field: Facing and Overcoming Obstacles

Let me share a few stories that are, unfortunately, all too common. Priya, a software engineer, led a mission-critical migration project for her company. She worked late nights, navigated technical challenges, and mentored juniors. Yet, when the time came for recognition, her work was glossed over in favour of her male peers. Then there’s Sarah, who attended a hackathon as the only woman on her team, only to have her ideas dismissed and be relegated to “help with the slides”. After a few such experiences, she switched to customer success, where her expertise was appreciated, and the daily struggle to prove herself was less intense.

These examples are not isolated; they reflect a pervasive culture. But there are also positive stories. I know women engineers who, despite the odds, have built support groups, advocated for gender-diverse interview panels, and campaigned for flexible working practices. Their efforts, often quietly revolutionary, make a tangible difference: creating pockets of inclusion and support where women can thrive and be recognised for their skills.

Actionable Steps: Empowering Women in Technology

So, what can we do (individually and collectively) to change the narrative, support women’s advancement, and make technology a welcoming space for all?

• Listen and Validate: Make space for honest conversations, where women feel their anxieties and experiences are acknowledged, not dismissed as exaggeration or insecurity.
• Mentorship and Sponsorship: Connect women with mentors and sponsors who will not just offer advice, but actively advocate for their progression, open doors, and help them navigate setbacks.
• Challenge Bias: Provide regular, meaningful training on unconscious bias. Review hiring, promotion, and performance processes to ensure transparency and fairness, and call out bias when you see it (regardless of how ‘minor’ it may seem).
• Promote Flexible Policies: Build workplaces that acknowledge caring responsibilities, neurodiversity and changing life circumstances. Flexible working, robust parental leave, and mental health support benefit everyone, but can be game-changing for women in tech.
• Celebrate Achievements: Make a habit of recognising women’s technical achievements, both publicly and privately. Visibility builds confidence and breaks the cycle of feeling overlooked.
• Measure and Share Progress: Set ambitious but achievable targets for gender diversity at all levels, track progress, and share successes and lessons learned openly.

A Call for Equity: Striving for Balance, Not Dominance

Our goal is not to swing the pendulum from one extreme to another. We aren’t seeking a matriarchy, nor are we content with the existing patriarchy. What we want (what we need) is true gender equity: a workplace where everyone, regardless of gender, is empowered to grow, innovate, and lead without the exhausting burden of having to prove themselves over and over. Equity is about more than numbers, it’s about culture, opportunity, trust, and respect.

Change starts with us. Every leader, manager, and peer can be an advocate. By challenging the status quo, modelling inclusive behaviour, and holding ourselves and others accountable, we can reshape the future of technology into one where talent, not gender, defines opportunity.

Conclusion: Hopeful Outlook and an Invitation to Act

My recent conversation reminded me that while progress is real, the journey isn’t over yet. The challenges women in technology face are nuanced: it’s not just a lack of opportunity, but the weight of always having to justify one’s presence. This is why so many end up in project management or customer-facing roles, because taking the leap into pure tech, or staying there, can feel like a risk not worth the continual stress.

If you’re in tech (be it as a leader, a manager, or a peer) I urge you to take action. Listen deeply, advocate fiercely, and champion women at every opportunity. Let us pave the way for an industry where everyone, regardless of gender, can thrive.

Together, we can build a future where equity is not a distant aspiration, but an everyday reality.

I’ll be back on this topic with a follow-up on how location impacts and what we can do to start making positive change.