Misogyny and Sexual Harassment in the Workplace: The Harm of Covert Comments and Why Laughing It Off Is Not Consent

Misogyny and Sexual Harassment in the Workplace: The Harm of Covert Comments and Why Laughing It Off Is Not Consent

Fostering Respect, Responsibility, and Real Change in Professional Environments

Misogyny in the workplace is not always overt, and its most corrosive forms are often subtle and insidious. It can manifest through a spectrum of behaviours, from direct exclusion and overt insults to covert comments, microaggressions, and casual “banter.” Alongside these, sexual harassment remains a persistent and damaging issue, sometimes blatant, sometimes hidden within so-called jokes or unwanted attention. While legislation and policy have done much to address more obvious forms of discrimination, workplace cultures all too frequently allow covert misogyny and harassment to persist unchallenged. These behaviours may seem harmless on the surface yet have a profound cumulative impact on women’s experiences at work, often acting as invisible barriers to inclusion, progression, and wellbeing. In this post, I will examine how even seemingly minor comments and sexual harassment can have a lasting effect, why intent does not mitigate impact, how these situations typically unfold, and, crucially, what both organisations and individuals can do to foster a culture of genuine respect.

The Impact of Covert Comments

Covert misogynistic comments in the workplace are often delivered under the guise of jokes, light-hearted teasing, or asides among colleagues. They might include remarks about a woman’s competence (“Are you sure you’ve got this? It’s a bit technical”), comments about appearance (“You look much prettier when you smile”), or the persistent reinforcement of gendered roles (“Can you take the meeting minutes?”). Individually, these comments may appear trivial, but their impact is cumulative and deeply damaging. They erode confidence and self-esteem, making women feel perpetually scrutinised or out of place in professional contexts.

Moreover, these remarks frequently go unchallenged, creating a silent culture of complicity. Colleagues who witness such comments but say nothing contribute to a workplace environment where misogynistic attitudes are normalised. For women, repeated exposure to these microaggressions can cause anxiety, stress, and exhaustion. Some may begin to doubt their abilities, withdraw from contributing ideas in meetings, or even consider leaving the organisation altogether. The loss is not only personal but also organisational. Talent is stifled, innovation suffers, and team cohesion is undermined.

Sexual Harassment: Recognising and Responding

Sexual harassment is a serious manifestation of misogyny in the workplace, often occurring alongside covert comments and microaggressions. It can range from explicit and unwelcome advances to inappropriate jokes, sharing of sexualised images, or persistent remarks about someone’s appearance. Sometimes it is direct and unmistakable; other times it is insidious, woven into workplace banter or disguised as “compliments.”

• Unwanted touching, hugging, or invasion of personal space
• Sexually suggestive comments or jokes (“You look hot today”, “I bet you’d be great in bed”)
• Sending explicit messages, images, or links to colleagues
• Repeatedly asking someone on dates or making advances after being turned down
• Commenting on clothing or body shape in a sexualised manner
• Displaying or circulating offensive or sexualised materials at work

Such behaviours can be extremely distressing, leaving individuals feeling unsafe, anxious, and powerless. Even when intended as a joke or compliment, sexual harassment creates a hostile environment and can lead to long-term emotional and professional harm for those targeted.

Sexual harassment is not always reported, partly due to fear of not being believed, potential career repercussions, or being labelled as overreacting. The stigma and silence around the topic make it all the more important for organisations to take a zero-tolerance approach and to support those who come forward.

Intent vs. Impact: Why “I Didn’t Mean It” Isn’t Enough

A typical defence for inappropriate comments is a claim of good intent. It is not uncommon to hear, “It was just a joke, don’t take it so seriously,” or “I didn’t mean it in a bad way.” While it is important to acknowledge that not all hurtful remarks or actions are intended to cause harm, focusing solely on intent centres the discussion around the person who made the comment, rather than the individual who was affected by it.

Impact, not intent, is the ultimate measure of a comment’s or action’s appropriateness. A remark or behaviour that makes someone feel singled out, diminished, uncomfortable, or unsafe cannot be excused by a lack of malice. In fact, excusing comments or actions on the basis of intent can further isolate those impacted, discouraging them from speaking up and reinforcing a culture of silence. Organisations and individuals must shift their focus from the motives behind a comment or behaviour to the feelings and experiences of those affected, encouraging empathy and active listening. It is through acknowledging impact (regardless of intent) that real change and learning can occur.

Common Reactions: Why People Laugh Off Comments

When faced with a covertly misogynistic comment or sexual harassment, it is common for the recipient to laugh or smile, often reflexively. This reaction is rarely an endorsement of the comment or behaviour; rather, it is a learned strategy for managing uncomfortable situations. Many people, especially women in male-dominated environments, are acutely aware of the risks of being labelled as “difficult,” “humourless,” or “overly sensitive.” The instinct to laugh off inappropriate remarks or even harassment is a form of self-preservation, a way to diffuse tension and avoid confrontation.

Unfortunately, this response can be misread as acceptance, reinforcing the belief that the behaviour is harmless or welcome. It may also discourage bystanders from intervening, as the situation appears resolved. Over time, the burden of enduring these comments or behaviours, while simultaneously concealing discomfort, takes a significant psychological toll. It is imperative to recognise that a forced laugh or awkward smile is not consent; it is often a silent plea for the behaviour to stop.

Understanding the subtle ways in which people respond to inappropriate remarks is crucial for fostering a genuinely respectful workplace. Recognising that outward reactions, such as laughter or silence, are often coping mechanisms rather than signs of consent helps to challenge common misconceptions and paves the way for more thoughtful, proactive approaches to workplace culture.

The notion that laughter or a lack of objection signals consent is deeply flawed. Silence (or even apparent agreement) does not equate to true approval. In reality, many people feel they have little choice but to “play along,” fearing social or professional repercussions if they call out inappropriate behaviour. The discomfort this creates is a warning sign, not an invitation to continue.

Rather than viewing such reactions as a green light, colleagues should see them as an opportunity to reflect on their words and actions. It is respectful and responsible to check in with the person afterwards (“Was that comment okay?”), and to listen if they express discomfort. By making it clear that consent is active and enthusiastic (not coerced or assumed) workplaces can build trust and empower everyone to set their boundaries.

How to Avoid Misogynistic Comments and Sexual Harassment

Building an inclusive and respectful workplace requires conscious effort, self-reflection, and ongoing education. Here are several ways individuals and organisations can proactively avoid misogynistic comments and sexual harassment, creating a healthier environment for all:

• Think before you speak or act: Consider whether a comment, joke, or touch is appropriate for the context and audience. If in doubt, err on the side of caution and respect.
• Challenge stereotypes and inappropriate behaviour: Be aware of how language or actions can reinforce outdated gender roles or cross boundaries. Challenge yourself and others to avoid anything that diminishes or objectifies colleagues.
• Educate yourself: Take the initiative to learn about unconscious bias, microaggressions, sexual harassment, and inclusive language and behaviour. Organisations can provide training, but personal responsibility is key.
• Listen and learn: If a colleague points out that something you said or did was inappropriate, respond with openness and gratitude rather than defensiveness. Use the feedback as an opportunity to reflect and grow.
• Promote open dialogue: Create and support spaces where everyone feels safe to speak up about their experiences and concerns. Encourage discussions about respect, inclusion, and safety, and be proactive in supporting those who raise issues.
• Be an active bystander: If you witness inappropriate behaviour or harassment, intervene if it is safe to do so. This can be as simple as redirecting the conversation, expressing concern, reporting to management, or following up with the person affected.

What Women Can Do: Strategies for Response

While tackling misogyny and sexual harassment should never fall solely on women’s shoulders, practical strategies can help women navigate and respond to problematic workplace behaviours:

• Set boundaries: Speak up calmly and clearly if a comment or action makes you uncomfortable. Practice responses such as, “That comment isn’t appropriate,” or, “Please don’t touch me.”
• Build alliances: Seek out colleagues who will listen and support you, including allies among all genders and those in positions of influence. A collective voice is often more impactful than standing alone.
• Document incidents: Keep a private record of dates, times, individuals involved, and the nature of any inappropriate comments or behaviours. This documentation can be invaluable if you decide to raise the issue formally.
• Utilise organisational resources: Familiarise yourself with your workplace’s policies and reporting channels, such as HR, staff networks, or employee assistance programmes. Don’t hesitate to seek guidance or escalate the issue if needed.
• Self-care and support: Processing these experiences can be emotionally taxing. Seek out support networks, mentors, or professional counselling if you need help managing stress or emotional fallout.

Remember, your professionalism and worth are not defined by others’ remarks or actions. Taking action (even if it feels small) is a way of reclaiming your space and reinforcing your own boundaries.

Taking Ownership, Responsibility, and Modelling Respect

Creating a respectful workplace is an ongoing process that demands active participation from everyone. Ownership means recognising when you’ve made a mistake, apologising sincerely, and making a genuine effort to do better in the future. It also involves holding others accountable, whether you are a peer or a manager.

For leaders and managers, the responsibility is even greater. Modelling respectful behaviour, responding promptly and fairly to reports of inappropriate comments and harassment, and making it clear that misogyny and sexual harassment (covert or otherwise) will not be tolerated are essential to driving meaningful change. Policies must be robust, accessible, and enforced consistently, but culture is shaped as much by everyday actions as by formal rules.

Respect is not a passive quality; it is demonstrated through empathy, active listening, and a willingness to learn from mistakes. By encouraging openness, supporting one another, and prioritising psychological safety, organisations can foster an environment where every individual feels valued and able to thrive.

Building on these principles, it’s important to recognise that fostering respect and accountability is not just about responding to overt incidents, but also about addressing the subtle, everyday behaviours that can undermine a safe and inclusive environment. Bridging personal responsibility with collective action ensures that both individual and organisational efforts contribute to lasting cultural change.

Misogyny and sexual harassment’s most pervasive forms are often the hardest to see, but their effects are no less serious for being subtle or covert. By understanding the harm that covert comments and harassment can cause, moving beyond justifying them on the grounds of intent, and normalising respectful behaviour, we all have a role to play in creating workplaces that are genuinely inclusive.

Remember: a nervous laugh is not consent, but often a signal that it’s time for change. Let’s be the ones who listen, stand up, and set a new standard for respect and safety at work.